Does fear come up for you when you think about going after something that you want? Do you let it stop you in your tracks?
Most of us have fears come up. Fears like the fear of failure, loss of reputation, hurt feelings, and rejection. Some people even have a fear of success. Yes, really.
When you feel fear you have a physical reaction. Your heart rate speeds up, your breathing changes, you get a knot in your stomach, you sweat, and may even start shaking. This is just how your body lets you know that you are afraid.
When you feel it, don’t ignore it. Acknowledge what you are feeling. Assess the cause of the fear. What kind of fear is it? Is it genuine danger, innate fear, learned fear, or imagined fear?
Let’s start with genuine danger. Someone is pointing a gun at you. Or you come face to face with a bear. Or you may be raped. When your life or safety is at risk, this is real danger. You have to do whatever you can to protect yourself. Most of your probably don’t involve genuine danger.
The second type is innate fear. This is something that you are born with. There are only two innate fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. These probably aren’t holding you back either.
Learned fear is something that you learned from other people and your experience. A fear of spiders, snakes, and strangers from your parents. Public speaking after a disastrous presentation. You might have some of these.
Most of your fears are imagined. You think about something and you imagine that it is not going to go well. And the fear comes up. Imagined fear is made up. You made it up. Think of fear like this: F.E.A.R. Fantasized Experience Appearing Real. Asking for the sale and getting a no. Taking a road trip and running out of gas. The airplane crashing. Phobias fit into this category.
For learned and imagined fear, assess the risk. Is the risk too big or is it something you can live with?
Here’s an example to bring this to life. You are considering quitting your job so that you can travel for a year. All kinds of fears come up. The biggest is that you’re afraid that you won’t be able to support yourself. You take a look at your finances and decide that the risk is too big. You don’t do it.
When low risk imagined fear comes up, quickly say “cancel, cancel.” Then use your imagination to visualize you doing the thing and it turns out perfectly. What would that look like? Focus on what you do want instead of what you don’t want.
People that get what they want, feel the fear, acknowledge it, assess it and move forward, if appropriate.
What imagined fear is holding you back? What is one step that you can today to move out of that fear?
This blog is based on Success Principle #15 Feel the Fear and Take Action Anyway.
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