I was with a very successful friend over the weekend. I’m not sure how this came up (there might have been wine involved). He told me his number one rule: don’t do anything that someone else can do for you.
That got me thinking. My tendency is to try to do things on my own. When I was growing up I saw both my dad and grandfather take care of things on their own. I saw one or both do their own taxes, build a deck, change a light fixture, do the gardening, and build bookcases. That mindset became part of my DNA.
I know that I am not the only one. I’m pretty sure that some of you find it difficult to ask others for things. Information, assistance, support, money, or time. If you aren’t asking, you’re holding yourself back!
So why don’t you ask? Fear. Are you afraid of looking silly, stupid, or needy? Or are you afraid of the word NO – of being rejected?
Here’s the thing…if you don’t ask, you already have a NO. You are telling yourself no. If you don’t ask, you are going to have to do whatever it is yourself. If you ask, you might get a no and end up doing it yourself anyway. But you could get a YES. Give others the chance. Take a risk.
You can get good at asking by practicing on low risk things. Ask for the table by the window, an upgrade to first class, a better hotel room, a discount, a free sample or free add-ons.
Here are four tips for asking for what you want.
The first tip is to ask as if you expect to get it. A sales leader that I used work with always said “Assume the sale.” Have the attitude that you are going to get a yes.
The second tip is to assume that you can get it. Don’t start out assuming that you can’t have it. I have a knack for getting great parking spots. Even if the parking lot or street is full, I always get a great spot. That’s because I believe that I will get one. I DON’T say, “I’d like a great parking spot, but I probably won’t get one.”
Tip number three is to ask someone who can give it to you. If you ask the cashier at Home Goods for a table by the window, you will get a no. They can’t help you. Ask yourself “who can give me what I want?”
The fourth tip is to be clear and specific in your request. It is easier for the person you’re asking to assess whether or not he/she can help you if you or give you want you want. I lived in a condo complex that needed the roofs replaced. I asked a roofer that I knew if he could replace my roof. He said he could. Then I told him how big the complex was and he declined. He didn’t have the staff to handle a project that big. It wasn’t until I was specific that he could really assess whether he could help me.
Remember that you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by asking.
What will you ask for? Who will you ask?
This blog post is based on Success Principle #17: Ask! Ask! Ask!
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