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When you measure what you want more of and see positive outcomes, it inspires you to do more of what got you those outcomes. 

I am talking about keeping score of the progress that you make toward a life that you love.

It is common for businesses to have metrics that they use to measure their progress toward goals and objectives.  This tactic is something that you can use in your personal life too.

“People need to put metrics around their priorities,” says Vinod Khosla, co-founder of Sun Microsystems.  In an article in Fast Company magazine he said that he could easily work 100 hours per week.  But his family was one of his priorities.  He set a goal to be home for dinner 25 nights a month.  “Setting a target number is key” he went on to say.

You can use this in every area of your life.

• Spend more time with your spouse/partner. Track the amount of time you spend together.
• Lose weight. Weigh yourself regularly and track the weight loss.
• Increase your social media presence. Track your numbers weekly.
• Get more sleep. Track the number of hours per night that you get or the number of nights you go to bed by a certain time.
• Cut down on your daily Pandemic wine consumption rate. Create a point system and give yourself one point for every day without wine.
• Spend less money.  Track every dollar you spend.

Continue reading Do you measure what you want, or what you don’t want?

There is a powerful tool for getting what you want that most people never use. It is using your imagination to see yourself having exactly what you want. If you can’t see yourself having what you want, you won’t get it or you will have to work extra hard to get it. Who wants that?

Highly successful people including athletes, celebrities, musicians and entrepreneurs use this technique of visualizing what they want (I describe it below). Using this technique helps you build confidence, create motivation and gives you a competitive edge.

Lindsey Vonn, World Cup Winning Skier describes how she uses it… “I always visualize the run before I do it. By the time I get to the start gate, I’ve run that race 100 times already in my head, picturing how I’ll take the turns.”

Before I tell you how to use this technique, let’s take a look at how it works. You might be thinking that this is some kind of Woo-Woo crap. I get it. Actually though, it is based on science.

Continue reading Do you see yourself having what you want?

Change is going to come and it’s not going to stop.  You can count on it.  Some change you like.  Others you don’t.  It’s easier to deal with the ones that you like.  More challenging with the one’s you don’t like.  But, as Bob Dylan said “For the times they are a-changing.”

There are two types of change: cyclical and structural. 

Cyclical change are changes that happen over and over like housing prices, interest rates, stock prices, and changes in the weather with the different seasons.  We learn that they are going to happen at some point.

Structural changes disrupt the status quo and can derail you.  New business models are examples of structural change like Amazon, Uber and Lyft, and Tesla.  COVID-19 and the effects it had on all of our lives is another example. 

I worked for a company that was located in San Francisco.  I loved the company, my job, the people…and the location.  Then the company announced that it was moving across the bay to the suburbs (structural change). 

My initial reactions were denial and resistance.  At first, I just couldn’t accept the fact that we were moving.  Were they serious?  Then I resisted the idea.  I was downright angry actually. 

Eventually though, I had to make a decision whether I was going to make the move with the company.  If I wasn’t, then I was going to have to find a new job.  I spent a couple of weekends exploring the location.  At first I didn’t like it.  But the more I explored, the more it grew on me.  I could relocate and afford to buy a home.  My commute would be reduced from 50 minutes to 12.  Both big positives.

I decided to make the move with the company and buy my first home.  Once I made that decision, I was committed to the change. 

It is common for people to go through those four stages during change: denial, resistance, exploration, and finally commitment. 

When you are confronted with a change, ask yourself these questions:

Continue reading 6 Questions to Ask Yourself When Things Change

Do you lift yourself up or do you put yourself down?

I often find that I am putting myself down. The things that I say to myself when looking at my reflection in the mirror (or on a Zoom call) are definitely put downs. “I am so fat” “There are new wrinkles.”  “I am ugly”  “My nose is too big.” “I suck.” “My eyebrows aren’t even.” “My nose is crooked.” And so on…

Do you say similar things to yourself sometimes? Things that you would never say to another person?  Would you tell your friend that she looks fat? That she is ugly? That’s a big HELL NO.

When you say negative things to yourself you erode your self-esteem.  How confident do you feel facing the world after cutting yourself down like that?  Do you feel your best?  Do you feel like Wonder Woman? Probably not.

You can be your own cheering section.  You can boost your self-esteem all by yourself.

Since I am guilty of doing this, I am working on changing how I interact with myself in the mirror by doing three things.  I haven’t made them habits, yet. I working on it

Continue reading What Do You Say to Yourself When You Look in the Mirror?

Your Comfort Zone.

You have a way of doing things that are comfortable to you. Your behaviors have become so habitual that it is difficult to identify your patterns, let alone change them.

Give this a try:

Fold your hands.  Notice which thumb is on top, your left or your right.  Now switch your hands so that the other thumb is on top.  Don’t just switch your thumb move all of your fingers down one. 

How does that feel?  Odd, right?  It isn’t comfortable. 

The next time you fold your hands you will probably do it the way you did it the first time because that is comfortable.  But, if you hold your hands in the uncomfortable way for about 4 -5 minutes it will become comfortable.

Think about this:  everything that you want that you don’t have already is outside of your comfort zone. 

Continue reading What Stops You From Having What You Want?